No Striving

                I've been realizing this past week that it's a dangerous thing to consider yourself a sinner after you have been saved. Sure, we still sin, but that's not who we are anymore. When we accept Jesus as God and his sacrifice, repent, etc... then we're washed, we're made into new people, we are now children of God... not the dirty sinner we keep trying to kill (even though we've already been given the authority to conquer all that stuff). We are now seen as someone who is pure and whole, like Jesus. 
              Some people were praying for me one day and one lady was praying "Thank you God, that Courtney doesn't need to strive to serve you". As soon as she said that I realized that is exactly what I do. I strive. I don't just accept Jesus and what he's done for me... but I hold onto the sinner part of me- I think that if I don't do this or this and if I do this and that then God will use me. It's kind of a shocker when God shows you your real motivations. 
              For years I have been trying to make decisions based off of the thought that God can't use me where I am and with who I am. I put myself into an anxious state because I don't know what decision would bring me closer to being the kind of person God could use. Should I go to a Bible college or a secular college? Should I go to ANY college? Should I work at this job for the time being or should I work at this job? Should I be friends with this group or with that group? 
You get the picture. I work myself into a tizzy trying to figure out what person God wants me to be... when all along I already am the person he wants me to be. 
Who God has made me is a good thing. I shouldn't try to change myself, any change that should happen will happen along my walk with God. The sin is wiped away and I'm a new person, I am able to be the person I was created to be. My motivation to "serve" God shouldn't come from trying to force myself into a box of a person that God had no intention of putting me in. He made me in such a specific and unique way, for specific and unique purposes. If I change that about myself than God won't be able to utilize me in his plans. 
I don't have to work to serve God. I don't have to strive to be who God wants me to be. 
I can just be me, and trust in God and have faith in him... because if I do those things then he will lead me, transformation will naturally come into my heart and out of my life.
Besides, the end of my walk with God won't end with service. It will end with God. 
It ends with love, everything else works out on its own. 

There is no striving,

No running against the wind,

In the kingdom of God

My God says to me,

"My child, don't you see?

Don't you know?

I have chosen you,

To be my vessel of peace.

I have chosen to love you,

Death cannot part us"

"Why do you strive to be my servant?

Why do you fight where there is no battle?

There is no striving in the kingdom of God,

There is no fight,

I have paid,

I have bought you with my precious blood…

I love you.

I have created you,

I will use you,

Wherever I take you.

I am with you,

Forever

Death cannot part us."'

"In my gentleness I wooed you,

I outheld my right hand to you,

Giving you my strength,

It is not you who chose I,

But I who chose you,

And I will lead you in my faithfulness,

Taking you on paths of severe mercy,

Opening your eyes to my work,

That you may take part in it.

In all these things,

Even death cannot part us"

"I have brought you,

To my very near presence,

I have held you,

Kept count of every tear,

Forgotten every failure,

Forgiven every sin.

Because you received my right hand,

I see only my Son in you.

I see a house painted in His blood,

I see a person made holy,

Sanctified,

Pure,

Precious,

Fearlessly following my Name,

Now, even death will not part us."

"There is no striving in my kingdom,

Only faith and trust"

Biogas Project

Of traveling and Easter

Well, it has been an fun-filled 2 1/2 weeks. I'll try and give you a (brief) overview of my trip through Agra, Delhi and the desert state of Rajasthan. 

I traveled with 4 other volunteers- a married couple from Canada, Jason and Renee, a guy from Indiana, Ryan, and my roommate Lene from Germany. So it was a very interesting and multi-cultural trip.
First we went to the Taj Mahal in Agra (the only thing to really do in Agra) 

Lene and I at the Taj

It really is a magnificent building. I can see why it's one of the
7 wonders of the world.

Then we went to Delhi- I like Delhi because there are quite a few free things you can do. These are from the Ghandi museum (I should say one of the Ghandi museum. There must be at least one museum in every city he ever went to).

The last steps of Ghandi before he was killed.

I'm always a little surprised at the places you find Jesus.
This was a painting about "two of the greatest martyrs"

Then we went to Rajasthan. In Bikaner we went on a camel safari- which included one day  riding camels and sleeping in the desert. 

I got a camel kiss-the joy...

Then we went to Jodhpur, the famous city of blue, has an amazing fort. Even Christian Bale has been in it because they filmed a scene from the newest Batman movie here. 

The last city was Jaipur- the capital of Rajasthan... it's supposed to be the "pink city" but I didn't really see that. We were there on a huge festival Holi... It's kind of hard to figure out the meaning behind these festivals- I don't really know if any of the locals even know why they celebrate certain festivals. But basically you buy these colors and throw them at each other- I've heard its a party to celebrate the beginning of summer- and I guess that makes sense when you're throwing colors at one another.

The Holi colors

Elephant decorated for Holi

Elephants have always been one of my favorite animals-
They're just so amazing-hairy- but amazing.

A man was bicycling around with a bunch of chicks on the back of his cycle.
I couldn't believe I was seeing real Easter chicks. It was like a live peep. 

fat monkey

after Holi

And that was my trip. It was fun, but getting back to Shishya felt so great, it's amazing how it feels like coming home. We got back at 5am the day before Easter and Easter here was just- incredible. It was such a nice day. 

On Easter they loaded everyone up onto a bus and 2 vehicles and we went off campus to a riverbed and ate delicious food and sang worship songs and went swimming- it was a lot of fun and really special for the boys. 

Karo and Shiva were bus buddies.

They were more excited than they looked-- Mam, look! Water!!! 

the worship time

Auntie, Vijay, Ryan and Jason.

On the bus to the river! 

Well folks, I think that's it.  I hope you enjoyed the pictures and I wish you all a very Happy Easter!!! (even if it's a couple days late :)

Oh, and I just want to say that God is so amazing...  I was reflecting this last week about India and thinking of the present and how he's working everything out for the future and I just want to say that God is sooo good. I said that coming back to Shishya was like coming home and it's true. Traveling is nice, necessary to be able to learn about the country I'm living in and see the different places and different gifts and needs of the people... but being here in India, and being with the boys has been above and beyond what I thought it would be like. I've learned so much about people, about children, about myself and mainly about God and his relationship with us. He loves me so much and he's given me more than I ever thought I wanted and more than I deserve. I'm really enjoying these verses right now. 

Psalm 32:8; 37:4

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.