It's a God thing...

It is Wednesday and I'm already ready to go to bed and sleep for a day because it's just been that kind of a week.
On Sunday I realized that I am actually leaving, in less than six months, by myself, to a different country, time-zone, half-way across the world. To a place where the culture is so different I might as well be going to Mars.
And I know in a previous post I said that I'm not nervous or afraid of going. Which is true. I'm excited to meet new people and learn about a different world. But there is one thing I am afraid of: failing God.
I can't help but wonder if people like Paul or Solomon, or Elizabeth Elliot or any other famous Christian who God used in amazing ways ever stepped back from their life and saw this Awesome and Powerful God with these HUGE plans for their lives (larger than they probably even realized) and then took another step back and looked at themselves and where like, "Hey God! Do you see me? Do you see that I still struggle with this, and this, and oh that too, I'm selfish and it's a fight every day to give everything I am and have to you. I mean, I have all these PROBLEMS and you want to use me to do that?"
If they did I can totally relate. God is unfolding this plan for my life that is bigger than I ever imagined myself doing when I was six. My biggest dreams where getting through college and becoming a marine biologist (oh how the tides change!). It just FLOORS me that God has seen fit to bless me with such an amazing opportunity to serve him. I get to hang out with a bunch of really God-filled people and play with kids for 10 1/2 months!
And then my sin nature is creeping up and whispering doubts about God's goodness, and faithfulness, and love and forgiveness. I hear it all the time, "You can't do that! What are you thinking??? You're going to fail! You can't even relate to people at your highschool let alone to people of a different country! Why bother trying?"
But then God (being the loving and merciful God He is) shows me verses like in Psalms 17:27-39

For you save a humble people, but the haughty eyes you bring down. For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God-His way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?- the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursed my enemies and overtook them, and I did not turn back till they were consumed. I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For you equipped me with the strength for battle.

And then I see this blog: http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ and specifically her post from today (January 18)
Then I get floored. Again. Because this Amazing, Loving, Sovereign God whispers to me that He's got it. He knows I'm a mess, a screw-up. But He loves me anyway and is going to use it all for good, as long as I give Him all I am and what little I do have to offer. One of the great things about God that I've realized recently is: if you're walking with Him you really can't fail at God-things.

More Than a Conqueror

With it being a new year and all I've been thinking a lot about what 2012 might have in store for me, and especially in India. Honestly, I haven't got a clue. I know I'm going to India but God still has a chance to change those plans.
It's kinda funny though because when my mom tells people that I'm going to India for 10 1/2 months they're either really excited or shocked that I'm going alone. I often get asked if I'm scared or nervous. I'm really not. Excited? Yes. Thankful? Most definitely.
There are going to be a lot of things I'm going to have to adjust to and I'm betting on the fact that God has a lot of surprises for me there.
Should I be nervous or afraid of that? Of anything? No! Here's why:

Romans 8:35-39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
As it is written,
                       "For your sake we are being killed all the day long,
                        we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God through Christ Jesus our Lord.

So should I be nervous? Should I be afraid? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I am not going alone or for myself. God is wherever I go and His spirit resides with in me and NOTHING can separate me from Him. Through Him I am more than a conqueror. Through Him I can do anything. What can man do to me? God is powerful. God is sovereign. God is taking me to India. God has the plan and knows what is going to happen. NOT ME! And that is why I am not afraid, because no matter what I come up against I cannot be separated from the Person who loves me and gives me strength. He is in control and my confidence is in Him.

My Thoughts as it Pertains to Politics and Abortion

   Today was the first time I have ever voted in a Caucus. I feel rather grown-up but it also making me think about the issues and do some of my own research instead of soley relying on my parent's views.
   I've decided that there are basically two things that I really care about in politics is Pro-life and Foreign Policy. Pro-life issues get me pretty riled up so this post won't be talking about what I think about Foreign Policy.
   Partial birth abortion. Disgusting. I won't go into details but it is so so so so so so so so very wrong. Even though it is banned in the United States it has been reported. (I will also point out that even though it is murder the abortionist can only be sentenced for a jail sentence of up to two years. Which also is ridiculous).
   The Born Alive Infant Protection Act is used to protect those precious little ones that have (miraculously) survived an attempted abortion such as salt poisoning. All to often these babies (despite the law to protect them) still get left to die as it happened in one IL hospital a few years ago.
   What I REALLY don't understand is in the Unborn Victims of Violence Act the law defines the "child in utero" as "a member of the species Homo sapien, at any stage of development, who is carried in the womb." EXCEPT in the case of an abortion with the consent of the pregnant woman or someone on her behalf. WHAT??? It blows my mind that what the law is basically saying is, "If you want the baby and it gets killed by an act of violence we'll convict the person who killed it of murder. If you don't want the baby and want it to die you can pay someone to kill it"
    I know this is graphic but I have a really hard time understanding how giving someone a pill that kills a living, growing fetus (with it's own personal DNA and personality from the moment of conception) or tearing the baby's limbs apart and vaccuming out the womb ISN'T murder.
   Not only that but girls at the ages of fourteen can go to a place like planned parenthood and get an abortion without having to tell a parent or get their consent. At age fourteen you can't bring ibuprofen to school or be in charge of regular medications at schools or camps, you can't drive by yourself, or order stuff off of those TV ads, but you can have an abortion alone? Where is the sense in it? When I was fourteen I surely wouldn't have been able to make a decision like that alone. If I would've been faced with the decision I might have acted simply out of fear and immaturity and I'm sure would've regretted it forever. This is serious business. This isn't just about "at the moment a child is inconvenient for me" but "what am I going to think and feel about this decision a year, five years or ten years from now? Will I be able to live with the fact I did this?". A lot of people say abortion is only ok in the case of rape victims because they didn't chose it but it has been pointed out that caring for a child in that time of hurt helps divert your attentions off of yourself and helps heal you by taking care of someone else and getting an abortion in those cases often lead to more serious problems then if you had just been raped.
   All in all once you look at all the political positions, etc... its up to convictions and God has stated in the Bible that life is precious.
     Psalm 127:3

           "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,  

                            the fruit of the womb is a reward.                      


   Who am I to deny the truth of the Word of God? God is saying with the word "behold" Hey! Look here!! this is super important! pay attention! 
Children are a reward not an inconvenience!  Not something to be thrown away. But to be treasured. I believe that the world was given children to give us just a glimpse of just how much God loves us. The world is throwing that treasure away because we can't take responsibility for our actions. And it's sad. I'm just thankful that God has accepted every single one of those unborn treasures into heaven and it makes me hopeful for the future, because there have been Laws and Acts put in place to try and protect them, which means that as long as they're in place and someone(s), somewhere is trying to help them. There is hope and I am so thankful.