It's only 10:30 (ish) but it feels like 3 in the morning.
I. Am. So. Tired.
I've been sick, the boys have been sick (stomach pains, mumps, chicken pox.. you name it they've had it!) Everyone is just sick, sick, sick.
The afternoons here are beau-ti-ful. But now the nights are cold, cold, cold.
And I feel weary because I feel the need to be perfect... or at least appear perfect.
And every day I go to bed feeling weary because I was way (way, way) below that line of perfection.
I've been realizing that conceit and pride are two of my biggest problems. Because I think it's up to me to be the perfect Christian, the perfect example, I have rules to follow and goals to reach. And every day I fail at every single one of these things.
I said that every night I go to bed feeling weary and a lot of failure personally... and every night I have God telling me to give my life back to Him. To really, truly, place my life in His hands. To place my world and the world in His hands. Because the honest truth is that I am a failure. But thankfully God isn't, He IS perfect. And he wants to work through my life. He is the true God. The only God. The most powerful and awesome God who is everything. He created the earth, he created us, and he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and however he wants. There is nothing that can hold him back. There is nothing that can keep him from accomplishing his purposes. There is nothing that can stop him for saving the world or judging the world.
HE IS GOD.
And I am not.
Thank him, praise him, and give your life to him. He's the only thing. The only answer to this screwed up, messed up world we're in. He's the only answer to our own lostness, our own brokenness.
God is speaking. He is working. It's time to set aside my search for perfection or appearing perfect and take on passion for God- not for works or just "doing the right things" or "looking the right way" on the outside but having true, humble devotion to the only Being who deserves. I need more of him in my life, I need to be full of him- not just acting- I need to be so full of him so I can pour out...
God wants more than acting. He despises our acting.
So God make me genuine, make all of your children genuine.
Make us into something beautiful- Let your glory fill this place.
I. Am. So. Tired.
I've been sick, the boys have been sick (stomach pains, mumps, chicken pox.. you name it they've had it!) Everyone is just sick, sick, sick.
The afternoons here are beau-ti-ful. But now the nights are cold, cold, cold.
And I feel weary because I feel the need to be perfect... or at least appear perfect.
And every day I go to bed feeling weary because I was way (way, way) below that line of perfection.
I've been realizing that conceit and pride are two of my biggest problems. Because I think it's up to me to be the perfect Christian, the perfect example, I have rules to follow and goals to reach. And every day I fail at every single one of these things.
I said that every night I go to bed feeling weary and a lot of failure personally... and every night I have God telling me to give my life back to Him. To really, truly, place my life in His hands. To place my world and the world in His hands. Because the honest truth is that I am a failure. But thankfully God isn't, He IS perfect. And he wants to work through my life. He is the true God. The only God. The most powerful and awesome God who is everything. He created the earth, he created us, and he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and however he wants. There is nothing that can hold him back. There is nothing that can keep him from accomplishing his purposes. There is nothing that can stop him for saving the world or judging the world.
HE IS GOD.
And I am not.
Thank him, praise him, and give your life to him. He's the only thing. The only answer to this screwed up, messed up world we're in. He's the only answer to our own lostness, our own brokenness.
God is speaking. He is working. It's time to set aside my search for perfection or appearing perfect and take on passion for God- not for works or just "doing the right things" or "looking the right way" on the outside but having true, humble devotion to the only Being who deserves. I need more of him in my life, I need to be full of him- not just acting- I need to be so full of him so I can pour out...
The lion has roared; who will not fear?
I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen.
But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
Amos 3:8; 5:21,23-24
This post is more like a stampede going through my head. But Amos is really an amazing book that I had never read before this week.
God wants more than acting. He despises our acting.
So God make me genuine, make all of your children genuine.
Make us into something beautiful- Let your glory fill this place.
