I am with you heart & soul

           I was recently talking to my good friend Ashly about what it means to really follow Jesus and live out our lives for him. She recently started a blog you can look at here that talks about the same thing. I just want to say that I'm so incredibly thankful for her. She's one of those people who I can always count on to be honest and we can talk so naturally and freely about our relationship and walk with God. Her encouragement and prayers have really pushed me ahead with my walk so THANKS ASHLY! 
            But about living for Christ... I was watching this video by Francis Chan and I was just extremely challenged by the passage 1 Samuel 14:1-23- basically what is happening in this passage is that the Philistines and the Israelites are in a fight, but Jonathan and his armor bearer go first by themselves to fight... and it was only after they had gone and were gaining victory that Saul and the rest of the armor joined in. 

Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the LORD will work for us , for nothing can hinder the LORD from saving the many or by few." So his armor bearer said to him, "Do all this is in your heart. Behold, I am with you heart and soul."

I just can't get this picture out of my head. Two men going into battle by themselves against an entire army in pure faith that the Lord would win the battle for them... and only after they were winning (with the Lord's help of course) the rest of the Israelites joined them.
And now in my life, I don't want to be the last one coming into the battle, I want to be the person who runs in first believing with my heart and soul that God will win the battle.

               I was in Rishikesh for the day yesterday to pick up my roommate's jacket she left at the hotel last time we were there. On the bus ride home I was thinking about the plans for the next couple years I think God is leading me in (I'll write another blog about that sometime) and I was just thinking "God what can I even do for the the people in the world? I only have your message to give". He just told me "My message is enough to send you anywhere in the world, because I am enough for the world. I am enough for you" 

and I think the message the God is trying to get across my heart is that he IS enough, more than enough. Doing anything, whether its being a homemaker or a missionary or a farmer or whatever, it is only worth doing if it's for him,out of love for him and for the people he died for. And I don't just want to do his calling begrudgingly or for the sake of doing something nice.I want to run after him- being willing to stand alone if that is the cost, or live in a different country for the rest of my life, or working a minimum wage job and giving my entire salary to the church or to the poor. I want my life to wholly reflect to the world his goodness and faithfulness and sacrifice. 

Matthew 10:25,37-39- It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Ad whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, an whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

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We live in a beautiful world... This is my beautiful India :) 

I don't know if you can tell but not only is it raining but it is hailing!
I was going crazy because this is the closest to snow I ever got here... frozen ice
falling from the sky.

The Ganges river at sunset. 

This is a ghat in Rishikesh. People wash here because
the ganges river is supposedly able to wash you
from your sins.

My beautiful roommate, Lene and I. 

A monkey joined us for lunch.

I've been told that the pictures of the Hindu gods are there to keep
people from peeing on the walls because "god is watching you"
I guess it's one way to get things done.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, moon and stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? 

Life Goes on Forever...

"Before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. During supper, when the devil having already having put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God, and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him." John 13:1-5

This week I'm coming upon 7 months in India... And it is just crazy to think of everything that has happened, and that I have a mere 4 months left if I leave as planned on the last week of May. I do think about the future quite a bit, what I will do after this, what God has planned for me next. I've come to the conclusion that I should stop making plans, I should stop creating scenarios in my head of what it might be like coming home... good and bad. I need to live, live with the conviction of this:

 "Whoever receives His testimony sets his seal to this, that God is true." John 3:33.

 And when I was reading John 13 something in it hit me like I was just kicked by a horse and tears just came out- that Jesus... knowing he would die, knowing he would be betrayed by someone who claimed to love him, knowing he would suffer, and knowing that God had given all things into his hands. He could have said no and lived a normal life.. he could have been satisfied with the fame of few and the power he already had. He could have said no... He knew he was from God. He knew he hadn't done anything deserving of death, let alone a painful death. But instead of saying "no" instead he humbled himself before the disciples. Removing his clothes, wrapping himself in a towel, he washed the disciples feet (any of you who have lived in a second or third world country would know how dirty your feet are!) and dried them with the towel tied around his waist. How amazing is that.... How humbling is it to realize the God who created you is washing is your feet... in his underwear! All to give us life. To give us a new life, an eternal life, in Him and His Father, to give us the Spirit.

I've been thinking about life lately. There was a new life, a baby girl, Simyana, born  to the son, Asher,  and daughter-in-law, Lara, 

to Frieda and Ken who run this place. They have recently become the houseparents of the older boys and are just really an amazing. Lara has been a good friend and mentor to me in the months here.

The other volunteers and I made a baby mobile for Simyana

Something I appreciate about life is that you can always have a chance at a new one, or a new opportunity to understand and appreciate the gift given to us. Especially an opportunity like moving to a new country for a year. It really does give you a new perspective, a renewed perspective. Not only of your own country and home, but of the God who created it all. It's been nice to come here and have the chance for God to teach me so many things about himself that I've always known but never really known before. 

This was one of our activities in "Activity Time" at school. 

There are so many new things for the boys when they come here. One big focus is education. Many of the new boys who have come here don't speak any English, many of them don't even speak proper Hindi. When they come most of them have never been to school regularly before. So my roommate and I get to teach them. Which are not only new experiences for them but also for us as well.

These are two of my best students. Devender and Vijay. I've been teaching Devender for  nearly the whole time I've
arrived here and I'm just AMAZED at how we started with the alphabet and now he's trying (and succeeding!) at reading so many other things. 

Vijay is my little professor because he loves to learn. He's so funny
when he finally understands something... "Ohhh yess Mam Yess!!!!!"

I have to say that I really do love my students. They can be so sweet sometimes. "Mam, are you happy? If you're happy we're happy!" 

We are also reminded of life at our birthdays each year. Sometimes I think I often to forget to be thankful just for being alive. 

It was my roommate, Karo's birthday on the 28th of January.

We almost always eat chow mein for birthdays... all the boys have chopsticks but they
were trying to eat with one in each hand!

 One of the boys school books called for a family photo. So I luckily got a couple snaps of this family!  Something that I've been quite impressed with is that this really is a family. It's diverse, with 16 boys from India (and with 2 from Nepal), it can be a bit chaotic and messy sometimes... but somehow it works. But I think that somehow is a somewho... aka God. Because slowly, steadily, faithfully, God renews them. He renews the houseparents, he renews and heals the boys... its plain and clear that God is working in their lives. And I'm so thankful to be a part of that.

Beulah, Ruth Auntie,Devender, Rahul, Vijay, Bharat, Ashish, Ratan, Miraj, Rohan Preetam, Gautam, Harsh,
Daksh, Bhaskar, Shivam, Anit, Shiva. (Not pictured: Kirran Uncle. He was feeling sick this night).

                       This is Shivam. When he got here he just hung on his brother's back for the first week. I didn't see him smile for at least one month. Now it's been a quite a few and he doesn't stop talking to you, he will run and play and scream like a normal 4 year old. He can already speak some basic English. And God loves him so much. It's the only way I can explain a smile like this. And I can't help but smile back. Because not only does God give new life to us, he makes it new every day. With every blessing, with every smile from the boys here...with every tear shed from sadness or frustration, God is breathing His life into me.

And I am so thankful. That even when we feel uncertain, or our hearts are just broken from the loss of someone close, the upheavals of life are still God's way of reaching us, of finding our dead places and breathing his life into them. Because he loves us. 

Break It Up, Breaking Out

Seek

Hosea 10:12

                     Sow for yourselves righteousness;
                         reap steadfast love;
                         break up your fallow ground,
                    for it is the time to seek the LORD,
                          that He may come and rain
                              righteousness upon you.



Lately I've been convicted of not truly seeking God for God, but merely seeking him for answers. My sister reminded me that God is not the means to an end but he is the END. If I have Him, I have everything. I found this verse and what sticks out is the line "break up your fallow ground,".
Seriously, that is so true! Before I can expect big answers or see God working I have to break off whatever isn't of him, I have to build myself upon the Rock, upon His Word. Only then can he rain down his righteousness. Only then can I see Him move the mountains.



After Christmas I went touring India a little bit with my roommates. We went to Delhi and Mumbai and were gone for a total of up to 2 weeks. It was interesting, but it was amazing to come home to Shishya.


I've been finding that Jesus come up in the most unexpected places. I found this in Delhi in the National Museum amongst countless paintings of the Hindu gods.
The Nativity Scene.

It was painted in A.D. 1720-25 

This is the Gate of India in Mumbai... it was right next to the place we were staying.

Dhobi Ghat

    A place that supposedly holds over 5,000 people. The men do the washing for nearly the entire city of Mumbai.    

 It was here that I met some amazing people.

I don't even know what exactly it was that drew me to this place but I'm glad I went.

I was feeling tired of being so touristy, because frankly, I've found it's not something I particularly enjoy. I realized that a building is just a building, but it's the people of a place that make that place special. And it's what I found here. 

These women and children were kind enough to let me peek into their lives for an hour or two. I asked them if I could ask them questions and get to know them -so they sat me down and let me ask away. I haven't included as much as what we talked about, but it's personal and I find broadcasting it on a blog a little strange, I wasn't even sure initially if I would mention it at all. But I started with talking about breaking up fallow ground and it starts here, with me letting go of being someone that I can't be. I wasn't put on this earth to be a tourist but to be a kid of God. And if you're a kid of God then what you care about isn't so much about where or when, why or what, but about who. The who is who God cares about. Which is everyone so why should I not get to know everyone? Shouldn't I be caring about everyone? 

This woman, Geeta, has been selling goods handmade in Gujarat for 18-20 years

She was so sweet and gave me a gift of anklets that jingle when we said goodbye.

Sometimes she has a competition with her husband to see who can sell more in a day.

 

This is Usha, she is in her first year of marriage and is 18 years old. She's never been to school but has been selling since she was 7 or 8 years old. She loves selling by the Dhobi Ghats (her home) because she gets to be with her friends all day.

I was so impressed by them. None of the women have gone to school, but they work so their children can. 

There was something wonderful about sitting down and having a real conversation with them... sometimes I get really frustrated because I'm always looked at as an outsider, which is understandable because I am an outsider. Basically, I was so incredibly blessed by them being so open to me (even though I can be so foolish about the culture here), telling me about their lives and smiling and laughing with me. Especially since I can be deficient in having conversations with people I don't know very well. It's time to break up the fake ground, it's time to move on- breaking out of old habits and selfishness, and just focus on God. 

Christmas Time

Wow, well, what can I say but this is one of the best Christmases I can say that I've ever celebrated.
Filled with focus on family, fun, and WHY we celebrate Christmas.
I have to say that its nice here because Christmas isn't a very big deal... you're not getting pumped with  commercialism.. so if you celebrate it you can totally focus on WHY.
I celebrate Christmas because the God who created me came to earth as a human baby. Born in the humble abode of cows and other animals.
How worthy of celebration this day is for us! How freaking AMAZING is it that I am so loved by God that he humbled himself to becoming human, and not even a human that the world loved at the time, who suffered because of who we are.
Wow. O.o
So here's a peek at my Christmas...
On the evening of the 24 we all ate together and had a fire. Then there was a program with the everyone doing skits and dances and it was really just so much fun!
At the end (midnight, so it was technically Christmas!) they gave everyone sweets and presents but reminded them that its not about presents but the gift of Jesus! It was a really great night.

The boys Rahul, Harsh getting sleepy at the campfire.

Shiva is excited about celebrating his first Christmas!

This is also Bhaskar's first Christmas! As it is with many of the new boys.

Gautam and Preetam.. This is actually Gautams's birthday on the 21st he turned 12 and the balloon and hat were his gifts.

Ashish- It means "blessing" in Hindi.

Me and Vijay. 

Vijay and Anit at their first Christmas!

Elmo!

This is the boys dancing at the campus Christmas program. Dancing is such a part of life here!

Ratan was trying to be really sweet so I would let him take my camera.

Shivam, Karo, Vijay, Me, Shiva at the schools Christmas program.

These are my roommates, Lene and Karo from Germany. They're good roomies!

The boys dancing again.. They just love it! 

So today (Christmas!) there was a church service and a really good message about the Christmas Story, then rest and play time.. and then delicious chicken curry... (soooo good, made by the older boys on campus!).

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! God bless you all, each and every one. 

Contentment

It's about 3 in the morning here... I maybe we awake due to the fact that I had a 2 hour nap today or all the chocolate covered coffee beans my mom sent me (plus the loads of tea I've started drinking recently, but hey, it's India! Famous for its tea.)
And I know, I know, I've been lazy in my blogging lately... so here's whats up.

con·tent·ment

  [kuh n-tent-muh nt] 

noun

1.

the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.

It's almost Christmas, and I've been thinking so much about little baby Jesus. I think this is the first Christmas I've had where it has really been hitting me that this is the SAME God who created the world, and the same one who died for it. 

The amount of blessing in my life is just overwhelming some moments, and I sit there among a bunch of little boys shouting praise songs and I just ask God "Please let me never forget this moment. Please." 

You can really learn so much from kids, (patience!), childlike faith, contentment... 5 to 6 boys shouting that they want to pray for the food, listening with wide eyes to the Christmas Story even if they don't understand everything I am saying. The eagerness to pray, and to pray for the big things like their uncle's operation to the scrape they got on their hand at play time... the faith they have to pray for these things and trust that God WILL heal them. That God will be with them, even if they don't fully understand the gospel yet.

Thanksgiving

Well, November is almost over.
And even though I couldn't remember what day Thanksgiving comes on (and celebrated it 3 days late....) I was thinking about Thanksgiving a lot.
Well, the food... :P Just kidding, sorta. (cranberry salad, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes... PUMPKIN PIE! Oh my goodness...).
And thinking about my family and the lack of seeing them that has been happening...
And the fact that I've been here for nearly 5 months and only really have 6 months left (wow... from nearly 11 to 6... It's a countdown already!).
And just thinking of thankfulness. So here's my Thanks List for 2012.

• Washing machines (I think doing my laundry will never be quite so dreaded a chore after this year of hand washing).
• vitamin C (and lots and lots of tissues)
• growing up in a house that has heat and air conditioning.
• true friends that wait for 2 hours to skype with you
• packages containing chocolate
• being here, doing what I'm doing, even if its not always easy 
• children's smiles

AND...

• the every day.

This month I've really been thing about the dailyness of life. Because it happens every day (errr... derrr.. I know). And after awhile you just get used to it... 

But something that I'm just extremely thankful for is that even though we can go through the same things every day (wake up and so and so a time and do such and such until this time and do that and this over there until blah blah blah)... there is still something completely and uniquely new to the every day dailyness of life. There are new people, new problems/frustrations, new struggles, new friends, new mercies from God, and new lessons to be taught and to be learned. Every. Day. 

And I'm just amazed... because how could I get through the dailyness of life if I didn't have the newness of God in my soul? 

God is here. He is with me every day. Loving me, forgiving me, teaching me, and I'm so thankful that in the small every day things- no matter where you live or what you're doing- that God can make us new through those every day things. 

So I'm thankful for the every day because God is there and he's working through it.