No Striving

                I've been realizing this past week that it's a dangerous thing to consider yourself a sinner after you have been saved. Sure, we still sin, but that's not who we are anymore. When we accept Jesus as God and his sacrifice, repent, etc... then we're washed, we're made into new people, we are now children of God... not the dirty sinner we keep trying to kill (even though we've already been given the authority to conquer all that stuff). We are now seen as someone who is pure and whole, like Jesus. 
              Some people were praying for me one day and one lady was praying "Thank you God, that Courtney doesn't need to strive to serve you". As soon as she said that I realized that is exactly what I do. I strive. I don't just accept Jesus and what he's done for me... but I hold onto the sinner part of me- I think that if I don't do this or this and if I do this and that then God will use me. It's kind of a shocker when God shows you your real motivations. 
              For years I have been trying to make decisions based off of the thought that God can't use me where I am and with who I am. I put myself into an anxious state because I don't know what decision would bring me closer to being the kind of person God could use. Should I go to a Bible college or a secular college? Should I go to ANY college? Should I work at this job for the time being or should I work at this job? Should I be friends with this group or with that group? 
You get the picture. I work myself into a tizzy trying to figure out what person God wants me to be... when all along I already am the person he wants me to be. 
Who God has made me is a good thing. I shouldn't try to change myself, any change that should happen will happen along my walk with God. The sin is wiped away and I'm a new person, I am able to be the person I was created to be. My motivation to "serve" God shouldn't come from trying to force myself into a box of a person that God had no intention of putting me in. He made me in such a specific and unique way, for specific and unique purposes. If I change that about myself than God won't be able to utilize me in his plans. 
I don't have to work to serve God. I don't have to strive to be who God wants me to be. 
I can just be me, and trust in God and have faith in him... because if I do those things then he will lead me, transformation will naturally come into my heart and out of my life.
Besides, the end of my walk with God won't end with service. It will end with God. 
It ends with love, everything else works out on its own. 

There is no striving,

No running against the wind,

In the kingdom of God

My God says to me,

"My child, don't you see?

Don't you know?

I have chosen you,

To be my vessel of peace.

I have chosen to love you,

Death cannot part us"

"Why do you strive to be my servant?

Why do you fight where there is no battle?

There is no striving in the kingdom of God,

There is no fight,

I have paid,

I have bought you with my precious blood…

I love you.

I have created you,

I will use you,

Wherever I take you.

I am with you,

Forever

Death cannot part us."'

"In my gentleness I wooed you,

I outheld my right hand to you,

Giving you my strength,

It is not you who chose I,

But I who chose you,

And I will lead you in my faithfulness,

Taking you on paths of severe mercy,

Opening your eyes to my work,

That you may take part in it.

In all these things,

Even death cannot part us"

"I have brought you,

To my very near presence,

I have held you,

Kept count of every tear,

Forgotten every failure,

Forgiven every sin.

Because you received my right hand,

I see only my Son in you.

I see a house painted in His blood,

I see a person made holy,

Sanctified,

Pure,

Precious,

Fearlessly following my Name,

Now, even death will not part us."

"There is no striving in my kingdom,

Only faith and trust"